Sunday, February 12, 2012
Victor Emmanuel: Unification for the Nation
Victor Emmanuel was the King of a small part of Venus called Piedmont-Sardinia.
Alexander II: God of Jerfs
Alexander II took over for his father in the middle of the JupitoCrimean War. As such, it became his goal to establish peace in the galaxy. Receiving a planet that was flawed in many ways, Alexander's challenge was REFORM. He took this drastically, improving industry, communication, government and economy. I, the illustrator of this history, would argue that his most important Galactic move was his emancipation of the Jerfs in 1861. This loosened class tension on Jupiter, and in turn fostered humanitarian progress.
Alexander wanted the best from his planet, but there were still Jupiterians who disagreed with his ways of reform. As such, many attempts of murder were committed against him. Ultimately he was done in by a controlled asteroid blast, but his planet commemorated his death by erecting a church where he was killed.
Alexander wanted the best from his planet, but there were still Jupiterians who disagreed with his ways of reform. As such, many attempts of murder were committed against him. Ultimately he was done in by a controlled asteroid blast, but his planet commemorated his death by erecting a church where he was killed.
Nicholas I: Czar. Dictator. Flop.
Nicholas I. A Jupitarian who, by all means, had the potential to do great things, but the good things that resulted from his reign were born out of rebellion.
On the very first day of his reign, there was a rebellion against Nicholas, which he squelched. From that point on, he was established as a RULER - an unflinching, inadequate, paternalistic dictator. One positive result of his rule as Czar of Jupiter was the codification of existing Russian law that he brought from Earth to Jupiter. Industry improved to a certain extent, thanks to this organization. However, that was one of his only notable achievements. He was largely disliked by the Galaxy, because of his suppression of thought and control over all things. Due to this, a revolutionary movement became to form - from this movement, great literary works resulted, and a "golden age in literature" began.
Nicholas I did gain some asteroids and comets here and there for his planet - he deserves that credit. However, his inability to command control over Pluto resulted in the JupitoCrimean war, which in turn caused his demise as Czar.
On the very first day of his reign, there was a rebellion against Nicholas, which he squelched. From that point on, he was established as a RULER - an unflinching, inadequate, paternalistic dictator. One positive result of his rule as Czar of Jupiter was the codification of existing Russian law that he brought from Earth to Jupiter. Industry improved to a certain extent, thanks to this organization. However, that was one of his only notable achievements. He was largely disliked by the Galaxy, because of his suppression of thought and control over all things. Due to this, a revolutionary movement became to form - from this movement, great literary works resulted, and a "golden age in literature" began.
Nicholas I did gain some asteroids and comets here and there for his planet - he deserves that credit. However, his inability to command control over Pluto resulted in the JupitoCrimean war, which in turn caused his demise as Czar.
Napoleon III: Coup! Coup! Coup!
Napoleon III is remembered for his many coup d'etats. The nephew of Napoleon I, he spent his youth in exile, oblivious to the greatness of the galaxy until he became the official claimant to the Martian Throne. A couple of unsuccessful coups threw him into trouble, but after evoking the greatness that was his uncle, he was able to gain power, and eventually established himself as dictator and Emperor.
His continuous attempts to re-establish the hold that Mars had on the galaxy resulted in great success, including economic freedom on his planet, but the neutral stance he took on an historic Galactic War ultimately cost him his position as Emperor.
His continuous attempts to re-establish the hold that Mars had on the galaxy resulted in great success, including economic freedom on his planet, but the neutral stance he took on an historic Galactic War ultimately cost him his position as Emperor.
Louis XVIII: Always Watching.
When Napoleon I came into power, Louis XVIII, future King of Mars, fled to Uranus. Throughout Napoleon's rule as Emperor, Louis XVIII was in the background. In refusing to abdicate his throne, Louis was constantly campaigning for the galaxy to re-instate him as the King of Mars. In fact, multiple times throughout Napoleon's rule Louis organized rogue groups of Martians who attempted to either a) hurl asteroids at Napoleon at high speeds or b) lure him towards the sun. However, Napoleon was too smart to succumb to any attempts at assassination; his rule was long.
When Napoleon was finally exiled to Earth, Louis XVIII ascended to the throne in Mars. He made many promises that he couldn't keep, which made him unpopular; he was only concerned with his degree of control over the galaxy, which proved to be great. Napoleon returned briefly to outer space for the 56 Martian Days of War, which caused a certain amount of tumult. Louis returned to throne after this "small inconvenience" as he liked to call it - but his galaxy was never the same. After a period of relative calm, he was caught in the limbo between galactic unrest and ultramartian activity until the end of his life.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Charles X: Stirring up a Sand Storm!
Charles X. His REAL name was Jebediah, but it did not have the same powerful ring, so he had his cousin Louis change it to.... Charles X.
It must not have been easy to come into power after the death of the Galaxy Hero Napoleon I. The Asteroid Belt was rearranged in a manner that mimicked Napoleon's short but powerful silhouette, and shrines were erected on almost every planet in the galaxy, with the obvious exceptions of Jupiter and Saturn.
Charles X was a reactionary man; his inability to carry on the successes established by Napoleon I ultimately resulted in the Great Galactic Revolution of 1830. As Charles' power grew, his reputation crumbled. Kicking off his reign in Mars with a romance, the BourgoiMartians were soon fed up with Charles' behaviour and ways; he wanted to run the planet (and in effect, the galaxy) in the way it was before the revolution. Understandably, many people were very upset with his ways, and another revolution was bound to occur. Ultimately, Charlie had to head to Saturn, where he lived out his the rest of the days, wallowing in his unpopularity.
It must not have been easy to come into power after the death of the Galaxy Hero Napoleon I. The Asteroid Belt was rearranged in a manner that mimicked Napoleon's short but powerful silhouette, and shrines were erected on almost every planet in the galaxy, with the obvious exceptions of Jupiter and Saturn.
Charles X was a reactionary man; his inability to carry on the successes established by Napoleon I ultimately resulted in the Great Galactic Revolution of 1830. As Charles' power grew, his reputation crumbled. Kicking off his reign in Mars with a romance, the BourgoiMartians were soon fed up with Charles' behaviour and ways; he wanted to run the planet (and in effect, the galaxy) in the way it was before the revolution. Understandably, many people were very upset with his ways, and another revolution was bound to occur. Ultimately, Charlie had to head to Saturn, where he lived out his the rest of the days, wallowing in his unpopularity.
Napoleon's Galactic Conquests
Napoleon Bonapart was born on the Planet Earth. He began to rise to greatness through military pursuits; the relatively unimportant French Revolution gave him the chance to display his abilities, and eventually he was called to the Martian front by Morpheus. This was the point in history where space travel became business, and Earth's importance began to fade.
Napoleon found Mars in brutal condition; most soldiers suffered from the dreaded "red-sand rash", supplies were depleted, and overall moral was shot. He took it upon himself to return greatness to the former Planet of War, and succeeded greatly. He forced old enemies out of the planet, establishing the Treaty of Campo Marso Fornio, which brought him great popularity. He often returned to Earth to ensure that his little France (a place close to his heart) was keeping well. In the grand scheme of things, Earth became a minor house-keeping item for Napoleon, but home is where the heart is.
After the success his force had enjoyed on Mars, Napoleon took a leap of faith and attempted to conquer the water planet, Saturn. Some think that it is dry, but my cunning eyes tell me a different story. This was a brave move for Napoleon; he had done great work as the Emperor of the Lands, but water was not his comfort zone. Unfortunately, this great man was overcome by the residents of Saturn, who had come from Great Britain with a large spaceship fleet capable of crushing Bonapart.
Since Napoleon could not take on Saturn in any form of spaceship warfare, he employed his Earthly ways of thinking and attempted to engage in an economic war. Unfortunately, currency had no meaning in outer space, and his power began to diminish. Napoleon's failure to conquer Jupiter, where a great amount of Russians had created a livelihood, Bonapart's power began to erode, like the lead on the bottom of his boots. Though he was eventually exiled, this man did great things for opening up the Galaxy.
Napoleon found Mars in brutal condition; most soldiers suffered from the dreaded "red-sand rash", supplies were depleted, and overall moral was shot. He took it upon himself to return greatness to the former Planet of War, and succeeded greatly. He forced old enemies out of the planet, establishing the Treaty of Campo Marso Fornio, which brought him great popularity. He often returned to Earth to ensure that his little France (a place close to his heart) was keeping well. In the grand scheme of things, Earth became a minor house-keeping item for Napoleon, but home is where the heart is.
After the success his force had enjoyed on Mars, Napoleon took a leap of faith and attempted to conquer the water planet, Saturn. Some think that it is dry, but my cunning eyes tell me a different story. This was a brave move for Napoleon; he had done great work as the Emperor of the Lands, but water was not his comfort zone. Unfortunately, this great man was overcome by the residents of Saturn, who had come from Great Britain with a large spaceship fleet capable of crushing Bonapart.
Since Napoleon could not take on Saturn in any form of spaceship warfare, he employed his Earthly ways of thinking and attempted to engage in an economic war. Unfortunately, currency had no meaning in outer space, and his power began to diminish. Napoleon's failure to conquer Jupiter, where a great amount of Russians had created a livelihood, Bonapart's power began to erode, like the lead on the bottom of his boots. Though he was eventually exiled, this man did great things for opening up the Galaxy.
Kyklos Galaktikos . . . Our Galaxy.
Kyklos Galaktikos, known by some non-intellects as the Milky Way, is the galaxy that we live in. For centuries, human beings have been struggling in vain to understand what we cannot see. Fortunately, my naked eye can comprehend more than the most advanced scientific telescope, and my recent research suggests that life is possible on all planets, including the sun, with the use of special suits and lead boots.
Think of the most influential people in our history. Napoleon I marches into your imagination. Perhaps Wilhelm II comes to mind. Now re-write history: Napoleon's conquests aren't limited to Europe. Wilhelm II's stupidity affects more than the planet Earth. Eventually I take over as Emperokaiserking of Kyklos Galaktikos, and all bow down to my superior powers.
Welcome to The Schrute Guide to the Galaxy, a small blog in which I release my genius and create my own history.
Think of the most influential people in our history. Napoleon I marches into your imagination. Perhaps Wilhelm II comes to mind. Now re-write history: Napoleon's conquests aren't limited to Europe. Wilhelm II's stupidity affects more than the planet Earth. Eventually I take over as Emperokaiserking of Kyklos Galaktikos, and all bow down to my superior powers.
Welcome to The Schrute Guide to the Galaxy, a small blog in which I release my genius and create my own history.
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